Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Letters from Izaheem-Ythk The Terror - Part 2

Journal Entry 20 

Its been about a month since Patricia the "prudish puffed up pedantic princess" has been my unwanted guest.  I've yet to see any knights storming my lair, although I so long for it!  She grows more irritating every day, constantly whining about her accommodations, the terrible food (what do you expect from goblin cooks I mean really?), the endless drone of "When will my father rescue me?, Why has my prince not come?".  If this keeps up I'm going to have to find a psychology book!  Of course that will be for my sake not hers.  Although I've never disintegrated someone on purpose, if this keeps up she may well become the first.  I've considered personally taking her home.  Its been years since I've flown the breadth of the land, I may have to stretch my wings soon and drop this dimwit off at her father's place, if this keeps up.  The real problem with flying, especially anywhere "civilized" is that you get the cries of "Oh my god! a dragon! get the pitchforks, the flaming arrows ready, battle stations!"  Etc.  Which goes back to my original problem of being lonely, people will always judge a book by its cover, especially when the cover has large teeth, breaths fire and is covered in "hard as nails" scales.  

A thought came to me lately, Patricia is obviously not scared of me, however there maybe something that can be done to get rid of her!  I still can't quite figure out how she finds me harmless, is there some kind of princess diaries that I'm unaware of?  Maybe a user group? 

Griglog and his band of minions have been more than happy having her annoying company, I've considered trying to get them to scare her away.  The unfortunate problem is that Griglog really doesn't communicate well.  During a recent break in the "drone" when she went of to use the the facilities I tried to explain my plan to Griglog.  

"Griglog! Come here" 

"Yesssss master? What can Griglog do?"

"I need you to get rid of the princess!" 

"Has Griglog done something wrong? Maybe I should make boiled chicken?" 

"No, Griglog your food is fine, that's not what I'm trying to tell you.  If anything she seems to like it.  I need you to get rid of the princess, scare her away!" 

"I do care for her from far away" 

"Nevermind" 

The goblin stood before me forgetting to wipe the drool from his mouth, starring blank eyed.  Mental note, find better minions. 

Alas, I've been working on some more conjurations, I've successfully been able to create a bunny from thin air.  I'm hoping with some practice maybe I'll be able to create something actually scary, which will frighten that half wit.  More research is needed. 

-Izaheem-Ythk The Apparent Terror